sometimes its hard to keep in touch with everyone. Why do we call certain friends and not others? Why does it take so long to write back to someone and say: "doing fine, thanks for asking." or "life's a bit rough, how are you?"
I guess people bring out different things in us. I imagine calling one person and know that I would end up talking about how depressed I am and how I want more friends, etc. If I call someone else, I'd end up talking about all the interesting work I'm doing. Some people would give me the impression that I'm leading a lonely difficult life, while others leave me with the impression that I'm doing exciting interesting things, meeting interesting people, and really doing exactly what I should be doing at this stage in my life.
Maybe it just means that its a complicated time. Its not one thing or the other, but a big mix of many things. I also think I'm one of these people who's a bit vague, not so well defined at the center of things, at least in the short term. I know everyone has this aspect to them, but its a matter of what's central. For people like me, who change easily, we have to be a bit careful of who we talk to. People can have a big effect on us. Sometimes its only in withdrawal, that I find my own direction again. But withdrawal can become a direction on its own, rather than a tool, if you're not careful. Not that its actually that bad of a direction, if you can take it. There's a whole realm of life surrounding being a solitary person, seeking yourself, or something beyond you inside you.
2 comments:
you express very eloquently what I have often thought, but failed to communicate.
I love your blog Bo. It's written with such a pure and honest reflective voice that frees your reader to reflect on her own life as well as engage in yours in a thoughtful way, albiet from cyberland. This freedom seems a key for productive and meaningful collaboration in relationships across the board. May it come to pass that it lends itself to attracting deeper friendships, collaboration in your work and Love as time, time, time marches on. I am certain that it will. One of your gifts is having the tool to see from your own and another's point of view similtaneously and to feel on a deep level what is right and wrong for you.
What we share from our lives, whether depression, how a given day has gone at work or that we are tapping into something exciting and mysterious on the world stage, is irrelevant. The truth or lingering questions we've arrived at during and after our experiences are interesting if they are shared with the consciousness that creates an intention to share them from some deep place below the surface. From here, another person has that freedom to explore the universality in their own life experiences. A unviversality is at the very center. How people come into our lives in the first place, how transformations can occur from stranger as danger to stranger as life-friend is up to us to find out from being open in any given moment. Some of our harshest critics are our best teachers. For me, lately, all of these ideas are deeply humbling.
Well.... I think that your blog acts in part, as a rhetorical prompt for deeper understanding, an invitation to jump aboard your canoe and paddle with the Universal, eat a piece of fruit, catch a you tube video, pick up a book, spend a little time alone, find a new friend, continue to build this life as gracefully and carefully as we can.
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